January 2006 - Ahhh, the cusp of 2006. Another New Year upon us. It's a time for starting over. A time for trying yet again to keep all those resolutions we didn’t keep last year. You know, the resolutions where we promised to lose weight/stop smoking/pay bills on time/watch less TV/generally be a better person. How'd that work for you? Probably about as well as it worked for me.

So, this year, I'm going to try something different. Since I'm obviously not capable of keeping any of my own resolutions, I'll do the next best thing. I'll make resolutions for other people. And, yes, that means you! So, don't even bother making your own list of resolutions. I'm here to do it for you.

First of all, I resolve that everyone else will become as good a driver as I am. That means using your turn signal when making a turn or changing lanes. And, after you have completed said driving maneuver, you'll turn the turn signal off. You will no longer allow the signal to continue blinking as you drive for miles and miles making other drivers wonder just when and where, exactly, you plan to turn while you remain oblivious to everything except the radio or the cell phone that must be monopolizing your attention because why else is it that you haven't bothered to turn off the turn signal!?!

While you're at it, here's another thing you will do in the New Year. Stop driving with just your parking lights on. If you think you need parking lights, then just go all the way and turn on the headlights. A radical idea, I know. But, you'll need the headlights soon enough, so you might as well get it over with. In many cars, you'll find the headlights conveniently located near the turn signal.

And, finally, I resolve that everyone else will become better shoppers. I won't go so far as to tell you what to buy. That would be silly, wouldn't it? But, when you go to a store, I resolve that you will have an idea of what you want and you will get it in a direct, timely and orderly fashion. No more wandering aimlessly from department to department, no more leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle while you agonize over whether you really need that bag of curly straws. No, you don't. Move on – or at least pull your cart over to the side.

Well, there you have it: Three New Year's resolutions. Just three! Surely you can manage to keep three little resolutions. And, I guarantee that if you stick to them, I will have a very Happy New Year!